I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
