I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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