And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
40s are totally the cure
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
