my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
