Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
