Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
