On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
