piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
