I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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