we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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