They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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