dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
