i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We talked him into tasing himself.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
