you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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