i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
