Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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