He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
