So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
