Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
