he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
