Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
