Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
