doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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