How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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