Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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