My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
organizing the empties. That sober.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
