weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
