"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm too high and old for this...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
