dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
