we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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