i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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