In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
home. puking in laundry basket.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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