bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
