too bad you live with your parents still
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
