I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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