ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
