Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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