He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
