She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
