it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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