He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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