Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
