Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
