You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
