my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
