I think my fart just growled at me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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