Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
