he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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