Dual....:-)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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