So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
